Autophobia

by oblio

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1.
04:14
2.
03:27
3.
04:27
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5.
04:37
6.
04:49
7.
04:27
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04:20
10.
05:38
11.
02:51
12.
04:22
13.
03:11

about

Foreword - This is a concept album that tells the story of a nameless character who develops autophobia (the morbid fear of one’s self, or a dread of being alone). The album was originally written and recorded in 2012. Over the next few years, and after the addition of Alex Strahle to the band’s lineup, the final version of this album was written, recorded, and properly finished. The meaning or moral of our album’s story is for you to decide for yourself. It is a story we needed to tell, about a character who is not too unlike ourselves. This character is, and will always be a part of us. To family, friends, and fans who supported us during the creation of this album; thank you. We are eternally grateful and humbled by your love.

credits

released April 1, 2017

All songs written, performed, produced, and engineered by oblio
Mixed & Mastered by Free Hallas
Additional mixing by Blake Russell & Alex Strahle
Shakers on “Weatherman” performed by Elkan Nelson
Album cover designed by Alex Strahle

All songs © 2016 Negative Zero (ASCAP), La Bahia Music (ASCAP), & Six to Nine Music (BMI). All Rights Reserved.

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about

oblio Long Beach, California

oblio is an alternative rock trio from Long Beach, CA. The band consists of Blake Russell, Alex Strahle, and Free Hallas.

Our debut album "Autophobia" is out now.

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Track Name: Days
Days

I dreamed of drowning oceans. Love without emotions. Abandoning devotions just to see if they were there. I sleep with my eyes open. Shameful breath and lotion. The corpses in my memories keep on begging for my love.

Eventide lies culminate my head. Morning’s truth defies every goal I’ve set.

Mourning eyes, heightened sense. Wish I had your confidence. Your confidence in the days. Days are my penitence. Wish I had your confidence. Your confidence. Your confidence in the days.

You’re a figment constellation, in my galaxy predation, where friendships set like fuses turn to supernova skies. I slander my own speeches. And morals stick like leeches to the minister who preaches that some things cannot be saved.

And every dream will take the place of every blunder, to prepare me for the greater disappointment. And if we’re dreaming, would you wish that you wish that you were just dead? And if we’re waking, would you send me back to my bed?

I'm scared of all my good dreams. Maybe because it seems like the reason that I have them is to make up for the days.
Track Name: Burning Girl
Burning Girl

Do you still feel the fire burning girl? The guilt in your desire could melt the world. And the steam that rises up from when you cry. It's clouding up the sky my burning girl.

All the sky's filled up with the tears of the burned girl.

She's a wallflower in the dead of the night. Oh, but bring her out and she wilts in the light. Another day, I'm not up to the task. Another day for you to put on your mask.

All my soul's filled up with the tears of the burned girl…

All the places you would go, and all your faces I don't know. Through the twisted ways we turn… I always seem to leave you burned.
Track Name: Lilly
Lilly

On a road, some dirty country home, you made me feel so welcome. I knew you wanted more when you opened up your door. In your eyes I feasted on dragon's fires, and at your empty table I never once was hungry, and it satisfied my soul.

Lilly you're a blind girl, but through you I see. Even as a caged bird, you can break me free. Whoever you speak to wear reverent faces. And wherever you pass through become holy places. Lilly, stay with me.

Out at sea, I felt you there with me. No matter where you'd be, you know that I would follow through to the bitter end with you. Sing with me, we'll erase the memory. I'll write you a melody for you to drown your sorrows to, if I'm not there with you.

Lilly I don't know how but you know my ways. Your hand is on my brow, and I feel your gaze.

Up in space, I dreamed I saw your face there floating without a trace and I'm alone and in my starship in an orbit around you. There you are, I stand in wonder and awe. The pain of being so far away, can't hinder my plans 'cause I'm coming down to land.
Track Name: Then I Wake Up
Then I Wake Up

Oh those times, when I see you dancing to my favorite song. The little things that get to me but do I get it wrong? All the times I bought you flowers you put them in your hair. Such a pretty sight to see, until you disappear…

'Cause that's when I wake up! Just right when everything's right! Oh, that's where everything's sunshine, 'Til I wake up alone in the night.

Oh man, all those times when you pass me in the hall. I'm watching in wonder from afar pressed against the wall. Sometimes I feel like I've told you, just how pretty you are. Sometimes I make a little mistake, and push my luck too far…

If I play this song, maybe you will hear. Easier than fucking up, embarrassing, and fear. If I sing to you enough, you might know I care. And next time I wake up… you'll be waiting here.
Track Name: Weatherman
Weatherman

Look at the clouds honey, look at the sky. I’m at your get together, but I don't know why. Soon as the party starts you come my way. We'll talk about the weather, wasn't it lovely today?

Stupid conversations; don't you ever get tired? Most people nod their heads and let out a sigh. My weekly forecast: “It's crowded in here!” Why don't we go somewhere we can think clear?

It's raining cats and dogs outside. The thunder makes the kids run and hide. Well, if you think this is what I am… I am not your weatherman.

Just listen, this venom, hear what they say? Your “friends” like to gossip when you wander away. Two-face got a new guitar, come over and see! Guess he must be more successful than me.

I can’t be your weatherman…

Well if you’re sick of this social war, let’s make our peace in the downpour. And if you think you can call me “friend,” Well I’ll receive any joy you send… But no, I’m not your weatherman.
Track Name: Oxygen
Oxygen

Is anything in this life necessary? Is anything in this life permanent? If we only ever work and want for money... If we don't need to breathe love like oxygen. I can see that you don't care about it anymore. You got other things on your mind. I can tell, you're annoyed that I care to know so much. And I can tell you think we're running out of time.

But for a moment I forgot all of our trouble. For a minute there, it felt like we were free. For a moment we forgot about ourselves, and for a moment we just lived life happily.

Is anyone still learning from our history? Have we run our earthly course? People they tear down and build up landscapes, but everyone seems to ignore the source. I can feel that you don't feel it anymore. And now, we've all got more important things at hand. I can hear the melodies that you keep trapped inside your head. I can hear that you are at your final stand.

When I laid down by your side last night. You looked so glad, I nearly cried. When I lay down by your side I tried To keep you breathing, and catch your sigh and hold it in until we die.

But I'm only a man. I may never understand. We can try to hold our breath and be silent But soon we wind up needing oxygen.

But for a moment you forgot all of your trouble. For a minute there your eyes we're bright as day. For a moment you just sang like you we're happy, and for a moment our mistakes we're swept away.
Track Name: Shunned
Shunned

Packed up all my good will, I’m taking a trip to a place called Heavens Hill; without any words. Could a truce be plausible? I don’t want to wound you, with words in a hospital.

My eyes are crossing like deer on your road, when you call me out, and I’m crushed like hope for the things that we could’ve been. In a dream, in your house where I’m vomiting.

Bury this one weakness; that I'm afraid of my reflection. Bury this: I’m speechless, ‘cause I’m afraid of your rejection. Shunned. Shunned. Please don’t shun.

Jesus is my only friend, And I treat him like shit, but his hand’s on my glass, turning water to gin… Like my life is a parable. Telling the truth never felt so terrible.

I act so broken, I just might break, and pull the wool from your eyes, and the sword from the lake and bury it where I buried you; in my chest. I’m going pale as I carry you.

Far above, where all the clouds are 80 proof it’s not enough, I’m coming down from a higher youth. Every one… Can hear me on this stage but you. Let’s fall in love, in a king-sized grave with a fresh chance to…
Track Name: Low Expectations
Low Expectations

“You cynical fool” she said; “open up your eyes. There were days when we dreamed, now you don't even try. I partake, you partook, and developed my fear. Now all our lost hopes fill up inside here.”

You know the place your headed, I can't see where you're taking me. The hopes and dreams for your life, they don't occur, or I can't see.

“Partially protected, but you’re… open at the flank. Tried to be a leader, but the fish head stank. “Got a lot of muscle, but your head's too strong. We’ve been living pretty good, probably won’t last us too long.”

“Pack your blaming eyes, and leave with no replies. You’ll have failed your test, and I expect no less from friends like you.”

Of all my faults and failures, the two I love the most: She's the hole inside my head, and He's the Holy Ghost. From all this celebration, the poisons I misuse… No more lying for the wolf boy, no more poor excuse.

(“Pack your blaming eyes, And leave with no replies.”)
Love me… I don't know if you do… So I'll wait and see.
(“You’ll have failed your test, And I expect no less.”)
Hate me… if you knew me like I do, then probably.
(“Drown yourself again. See if you’re happy then!”)
Take me to the low side of my pride and the gates of hell
(“Doubt will be your cell, but it probably won’t go that well.”)
where I'd buy back my soul, but it probably won't go that well.
Track Name: Poor Man
Poor Man

I used to believe that I had grit. Thought I spat gold in the chew I'd spit. Backing up my truck I'd take what's mine. Got an asshole haircut, thought I looked fine.

After all the things I said, you'd think I'd fall with my big fat head. In shock I learned the truth was spread, and it took me down a peg.

I had the money, I owned the plots. As for my friends, I had lots. But a real friend there was not to be found. Now I know what it means... to have no one around.

Well I gotta free sample from your smile. And you shaved my heart with a jagged file. But the banks I broke came back for the debts. And they roped me up in their fool-proof nets.

After all the things you said. You'd think I'd burn with my blood so red? Now you know the lie was made of lead, and it shot me down a peg.

I held you baby, but then you let go. Where you were going, I'd never know. Left behind and falling with no where to land. Now I know what it means to be a poor man.
Track Name: Wisdom
Wisdom

Now you’ve heard me explain how I know. How you knew that I know all the truth, and it shows. When I bleed through my clothes.

The fool shouts at the wise man. His conscience gets attacked again by the...

Silence… One man alone in the room. Silence… shouts at the man in the room. I gave… the twist away too soon.

Such a buffoon.

Always knew that I’d reap what I sow, (Reap what I sow, from all the bad seeds I throw.) And I put on such a show, just to prove that I knew it, before… The scythe reached my throat. So just what did you learn about me? (Learn about me, besides the oxygen's gone from my lungs.) Spirits haunt through my veins like a cemetery. Grinning tombstones for teeth.

The cruel takes a stab at grace. All that's left in his empty space is the…

Silence… One man alone in the room. Silence… shouts at the man in the room. The smile… is upside down too soon.

With a mouth that has none to oppose, Truly, wisdom is knowing the self is the greatest of foes. A cheek turned for rage; I’m wiser with age.

Sliding… One home slips through my hand. Sliding… One home shifts on the sand. Sliding… One home slips through my hand. Residing… One man in a home, on the sand. With empty hands. With empty hands.
Track Name: Okay
Okay

Am I ok? it's not ok. Don't say ok anymore. Can we go walking down by the sea? If I would walk in, would you walk with me?

In the water you'll see. It'll wake you up, just like me. In the waters you will say, If we're drowning, it's not ok.

It was ok. For me ok… don't say ok anymore. Living cliffside; my mountain home. If we fall over, where will we go?

In the falling, senses will rise. In the drop down, into your eyes. At the bottom something will break, don't call this ok for heaven's sake.

I hate this so-so, take it away. I hate this in-between, take it away. I hate this heart that beats in half-time. I hate this half-truth, keeps telling lies.
Track Name: Setsumi
Setsumi

I want to walk in the water. On the edge of wanting help, and letting go. With no obligations, no ties left to you, I could go… deeper.

Its been that kind of life. The kind that quits after years of decay. With your relationships, when you can no longer swim, You could sink… and fade away.

And I don't know if I want to be saved… Anymore… at the shore.

I want to wade in the water. This fucking joke won't get a laugh anymore. With no chances after this, come show me what I will miss… if I sink… deeper.

And I don't know if I want to be healed… Anymore… in the sore.

Setsumi… I'm starting to think you're just like me. It's starting to seem like I'd be free. If I stood there by the waves I'd be… happy.

Setsumi… I finally see you're like me. I say as I breathe in deeply: "When it's over, I will be… just like you, happy." I'd be… happy. I'd be… happy.